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There Was a Car Crash Here

by Marshall Milton

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1.
The mist rose so gently the waves Never seemed to crash upon the pebble shore And I was afraid to stand beside the water As the stars and tide-pools sang with ripples And I had so many doubts As the night grew brittle I stepped out In to the sound As shadows sprouted out of every shoal The moon set wandering souls apart From those seeking to sink and drown Oh Lorelei, was I among them? Or was it fear I overcame? As the shroud of mist sank Kelp clung to my ankle As I struggled to the heart of the waves My thighs were soaking wet The sky was cavernous and yawning Into nothing, how I wanted to be there Amongst the nebulae and black I found some peace in the stillness And left my breath with the mist Was there some line I crossed that night, Within the sea or in my own heart? Sometimes I wish I’d succumbed to the brine For I’m drowning now in arid life If I’d been brave I would have stayed there But instead I’d hoped to imbibe more of life The mist and waves are now my everyday And I struggle as I can back to shore But I can’t do this Great whites are circling But I can’t do this The night is darker than the day is bright And I am so afraid That I can’t do this Alone
2.
Aestate 03:40
Too late I came to the cave Where I wanted to roam in August, but The stale, and stunted august stalagmites Stood there blocking my way to nitid veins Of colored quartz Pacing at Hell's maw I tried plaintively To call you back to me Threading my threnody through Statues carved by time One was an egg covered in moss, cracking, or hatching Could I be so lucky someday To shed my shell, and become Something that's precious to someone But I have no chrysilis From which I might emerge a new And I am no Orpheus But still I'll sing for you So come ye now this day assemble Hang your burdens by the pines And amidst laughter sing like sparrows In the fires of July Come ye now ye lonesome lovers As ye beggars all call for alms May this cave mouth be the shelter Where we warm ourselves with song As night grows long Fireflies swim along the belt of Orion And I thrive in thoughtless repose Junebugs and moonshine hang in the air Half asleep I dream of finding home Or something close
3.
Rapture 04:09
Drain the ink from the basin Spread sand on the words so they’ll dry The news will come with morning The letter reads ‘your child has died’ And we weep for what never was Plant the bones and hope the house won’t collapse I tried my hardest to reach you But the fissures grew too fast The nights were annulled by our silence We forgot how to smell, and to scratch The barren fields stretch onwards towards the afterlife and still We cling to our piles of ash How we clashed through those bitter days The hearth and the forge tilled their flames The embers remember, but thy never speak of love As we draw back our linens the same And on through another year Another sodden decade dragged by Although we clung to the clothes of our past Time went on advancing beyond our grasp Yet I still cherish you Though we’ve turned to stone The lilac tree may bloom again someday If we should give it room to grow Your touch is the succor I long for As coins gleam on your eyes and your tongue
4.
For Li Bai 03:30
A moth took its flame Over wilting walls, and lanterns spilt of spoils Its wings were faberge, and roiling As it looked down from above And knew itself by its wanting Finstre schwarze Riesenfalter Who better to inherit the moon Her silver silhouette reflected by The black surface of a pond It set itself on a reed Gazing at the mizuous mirror And drunk on the soft wine Of unrequited tears It sighed with the wind Preparing to dive in If only once to touch her face She raised a murky smile For sought she too its embrace Though craterless shone her countenance Her true face was miles away How it craved to embrace the soul It thought that it saw smiling there As it cut its cord from blue September's air Luna chided the lust struck moth Thou knowest not what fate thou facest To join me thou must climb the stars We'll perhaps embrace at heaven's gate Did you know joy, oh moth While reaching for the moon Sinking were you raised up Or was your flame extinguished By lust
5.
Perhaps 04:50
The tall grass pulled us onwards Rowing across the moonlight And gilded with silver and brass It asked me how we fared As drifting blades of Grain and glass How did we fare indeed I could never answer My lips felt sore and succored shut My dreams were never seen, Not for premonitions Only for moments of hope That I could never cling to And hang up At the end of the day Tell me it’ll matter when it’s over When the wind’s passed us by Will I find some shred of light tucked away In the left hand pocket of some forgotten coat That I wore years ago Perhaps Her touch was warm yet wary Shuddering through the maudlin dusk And all that we had were whispers and icicles Take me back to the pond Where everything was covered with moss And lily-pads I wish I could have kissed you Though in my sleep I have But those images are fleeting at best As tourniquets of smoke Choke the hours awake Making them bearable Until At the end of my days Tell me that I’ll matter when it’s over With the years long vorbei Will I find some shred of light tucked away In the left hand pocket of some forgotten coat That I wore years ago Perhaps I wish I weren’t dreaming Perhaps then I could hold The scenes I wanted to see birthed But everything is still born And everything is ash At the end of the day perhaps I’ll collapse At last

credits

released May 31, 2017

Marshall Milton- Balalaika, Voice, and Lyrics

Recorded, mixed, and mastered by Alex Canellas

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